Autolalia
by Chloe Kompton
Summary: Prompt: "What if Chell died? What would you do then?" Drabbley twoshot.
1. Chapter 1

"I know you're not dead, you know."

The test subject didn't respond or even stir. Blood stained the side of her tank top, and the turret responsible for it sang, "Searching…"

"Get up," GLaDOS demanded. "We both know you're just trying to get out of testing. But that's not going to happen. I saved your life, and now you're going to test for the rest of it. That was the bargain."

There was no answer. The human, eager to finish the last test of the day, had sprinted around the corner without looking. It had been reckless, stupid even. If she'd just _looked_, she would have been able to simply reach around with one arm and tip the turret forward, leaving a clear path to the exit door.

But she hadn't looked. She'd made her first serious error in her long career of testing, and had been unconscious before she hit the ground.

"And you are just unconscious," GLaDOS said, desperation beginning to enter her voice as she tried to ignore the fact that the girl's chest didn't seem to be moving. "I know you are. You couldn't possibly be dead. You're far too experienced a test subject to allow that to happen." Protocol demanded the AI not interfere with Science, but if the human would just _wake up_, she could crawl her way over to the elevator, and from there, she could be transferred directly to the infirmary. "This isn't funny anymore!"

A crusher slammed down from the ceiling, smashing the turret so quickly it didn't even have time to not blame anybody. "I mean, not that it was ever funny, because it wasn't and it's not. Do you think this is some sort of a _joke_? You have a terrible sense of humor, [Subject Name Here]. Perhaps we should work on that."

The woman didn't even stir. GLaDOS felt dread welling up inside of her. She hadn't even known she was capable of feeling this level of emotion. "Look. If you get up now, you don't have to test ever again. I won't even make you stay here. You can go. And I'll bake a cake for you. A real one. You can even supervise if you like."

In some mixture of desperation and fear, she activated the sensors inside the test chamber, and continued talking while they scanned in an attempt to distract herself. "Come on. We had a deal, and it did _not_ include dying. If you terminate this contract, I'll be forced to take action. You remember that room full of screaming robots I threatened the moron with? Well, it's real, and I can have you sent there for—"

The sensor beeped, cutting her off, and the announcer said in its horrible, horrible cheerful voice, "Search complete! No humanoid lifeforms detected! Would you care to search again?"

"Yes!" GLaDOS snarled. "You're a defective program. I don't think you've been accurate even once in your entire pitiful excuse for an existence! I should have had you permanently deleted _years_ ago!"

The announcer was immune to her ranting. "Search complete! No humanoid lifeforms detected. Would you care to search again?"

"Yes! Again!" GLaDOS ordered.

"Search complete! No—"

"_Again_!"

It took another seven thousand, two hundred and fifty-two tries before she could believe the sensors. Her optic was still locked on her test subject, and as a claw gently lowered a sheet from the ceiling to cover her, she whispered, "_Chell…_"

There was no response.


	2. Chapter 2

"…no testing ever again?"

The voice was so quiet that GLaDOS almost didn't hear it at first. She jerked her optic away from the sensor readings to stare at the test chamber. The sheet she'd dropped over her test subject was moving, and, hardly daring to believe it, she breathed, "Chell?"

As the human shoved the sheet off, GLaDOS could see she was laughing. Waves of emotion crashed over her, threatening to overwhelm her systems. She was relieved and furious and giddy all at the same time.

"You fell for it," the test subject said as she stood up, shaking with laughter. "I can't believe that actually worked. 'I'll even bake a cake for you!'" she mimicked. "It was all I could do to keep from laughing."

"You…how did you do it?" GLaDOS managed. Despite her fury, she couldn't help but be impressed with the girl. Scientific curiosity was getting the better of her yet again.

"I reprogrammed the sensor array," Chell explained, kicking the turret husk aside and stepping into the elevator. It began to move upwards, heading straight for the master AI's chamber. "I also 'borrowed' one of those vials from the infirmary. The one designed to make you look dead?"

Had she limbs, GLaDOS would have kicked herself. It was all so obvious now that she thought about it. How could she have even considered it to be a possibility that her perfect test subject could have died so easily?

"How did you get the schematics to that test?" the AI demanded. "And tell me how you dodged the bullets. I'm quite positive I saw you get shot. Did you 'borrow' one of those bulletproof vests as well? If so, I'm afraid you're going to have to redo this entire testing track. You've truly stood in the way of Science today. I hope you're proud of yourself."

The elevator landed, and Chell stepped out into the central chamber, smiling. The fake blood on her shirt had already dried up, and she looked completely healthy again. She also did look quite pleased, and as she moved to pat GLaDOS, the computer couldn't help but lean into her touch.

"I'm sorry," the test subject whispered, all traces of humor gone from her voice. "I didn't know it would scare you so much. And by the time you were panicking, I already couldn't move because of the serum."

"I was not _panicking_," the AI scoffed. "I was merely concerned. You _are_ my only remaining human test subject, you know. If something were to happen to you, Science would be at a true standstill."

Chell simply smiled, rubbing her hand up and down. The chamber became silent as GLaDOS became content to feel the warmth of her favorite test subject's hand against the cool metal of her faceplate.

Then, all of a sudden, the warmth was gone, and GLaDOS was alone in her chamber. Her optic brightened as she was pulled out of sleep mode. Quickly, she jerked her head up to look at the screens in front of her, all of which showed the same empty, blood-stained test chamber.

Nothing had changed.

**[A/N: ...So, anybody else think it's likely that GLaDOS might try to put herself permanently into sleep mode so she could be with Chell?]**


End file.
